How Being a Parent Changed How I Work and Lead
Before I had kids, I thought I was efficient.
My days were full. My calendar was tight. I moved quickly between meetings, responded fast, stayed on top of things. I took pride in being reliable, responsive, and available. And then I became a parent, and things shifted. Not all at once, and not in a dramatic, life-altering way that made me a completely different person. But in small, steady adjustments that changed how I approached my work.
The most obvious change was how I viewed time. There’s less of it, and it’s more constrained. The edges of the day matter more. When I log off, I’m not just transitioning to something else—I’m stepping into a different set of responsibilities that don’t flex the same way work can.
That constraint forced a level of clarity I didn’t have before. I got more intentional about what actually needed to get done in a day, versus what could wait. I became more comfortable making tradeoffs instead of trying to carry everything forward at once. I started prioritizing earlier, not just reacting as things came in. But the change wasn’t just about time. It was about how I show up.
I’m less interested in performative busyness. I’m less impressed by urgency for the sake of urgency. And I’m more focused on whether the work is actually moving something forward.
As a leader, I’ve also become more aware of the signals I send as well. When I leave work at a reasonable time—and say that I’m doing it—it’s not just about me. It gives other people permission to do the same. When I’m clear about priorities, it reduces the pressure on others to guess what matters most. When I respect boundaries, it reinforces that those boundaries are real.
Parenthood didn’t make me less committed to my work. If anything, it made me more focused. But it did change what I value.
I value clarity over speed; Sustainability over intensity; Consistency over bursts of effort. I care more about building systems that work without constant intervention, because I don’t have the same appetite for chaos. And maybe most importantly, I’ve become more comfortable with the idea that I don’t have to do everything.
Not every meeting needs me. Not every decision needs my input. Not every problem is mine to solve.
That’s not disengagement—it’s trust. In the team, in the process, in the structure we’ve built together.
Being a parent didn’t fundamentally change who I am at work. But it stripped away some of the habits that weren’t actually serving me—and made it easier to focus on what does.
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